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JOURNAL ENTRY

Press play to hear what I hear while I journal :)

January never seems to be an easy month for me. I feel like birthdays (mine being January 20th) have always been hard for a while now. I guess the only other thing that makes January so hard is that it seems to go on for eternity. I am grateful however to look back on all these photos and memories I have on this page to remind me that even though the start of the year isn’t going as I would have liked. I had some great moments, great meals, even greater friends. I cried a lot this month. Happy tears but mostly sad. I travelled to new places and regular places. I feel an immense amount of pressure to do more with what aligns me. To work for myself again. I have a surge of creativity and inspiration that I am finding ways to act on. But overall this month I was not proud of how little optimism I had throughout the month. I get by, making sure I make each day count. But some days feel heavy and ominous. Other days feel expressive and some just feel empty. I am not proud (just yet) to turn a year older. My achievements even though we had many last year, I know required minimal effort. That’s okay. That’s a bunch of lessons and teachings I can work on moving forward. You will come to know that I am extremely self critical. And I feel the need to share that, as I continue to express myself authentically. There are sides of me I am still figuring out exactly where, they belong, where they fit in, if they even do have a place inside of me. I still love me. More everyday. I still have compassion, grace, patience, kindness and will endure through every obstacle I put onto myself. Life has growing pains. Some pains are deep while some just scratch the surface. Some thoughts I don’t trust, while some I welcome with open arms. The point is, I will always make an oath to myself. To love myself gently, not all at once, but entirely all the way.

This year I will try my hardest to push through and make something of my work and my life here. I will work hard to become the woman I aspire to be by the end 2026. God give me grace while I endure the next 11 months ahead.

April Moodboard.

March

Purchases.

100% Copper Water bottle

Weekly VLOGS

My birthday dinner, Persian grocery shopping in Dubai

First week of 2025, Life in Dubai with friends, Shanghai for 24 hrs

AUDIBLES/BOOKS:

I got this book as a gift from a friend back home in Australia. We have started this tradition to gift each other a book for our Birthdays (our birthdays only being 10 days apart) since I moved to Dubai. So this book every year is always special to me. She knew I was going through a hard time the past few months, conscious of the fact that she knows me to be too helpful, empathetic and hands on at times, she knew this book would help me regulate my emotions in issues in relationships that I have never dealt with before. I have listened to several podcasts where Mel Robbins was the guest being interviewed or directly from her podcast, so The Let Them theory was not foreign to me. However, once I delved into the book. I learnt there is a whole section explaining the full theory which involves no one but yourself. It discusses how to positively influence (not change) others to become better for themselves, how to actually support (not help) someone who is struggling. As well as how you can come to terms with everything you come across that is merely out of your control. reflecting on past experiences, I can see myself unknowingly doing some of these positive actions but also, can see where if I had known how to best handle some situations in my life, would things have happened as they did or would I be somewhere else in life? Everything happens for a reason and I do believe at the end of the day, the timing in my life checks out, and I was meant to read this book when I was gifted it. Defintely a great read, skip to the second section if you are already familiar with The “Let them Theory” part of her work.

The Let Them Theory By Mel Robbins

Elif Shafak’s book 40 rules of love has actually crossed my path many times before I actually decided to give it a chance. I first discovered this book about 5 years ago when some podcaster posted it as their favourite book. I purchased it on Audible to listen, as I know it is a fiction book, which I usually enjoy taking in via audible. However, when I first listened to it. I wasn’t interested in the teachings of Islam, the Middle East. So I didn’t understand much of what was said. I then received a copy of the book on my 29th birthday by a very good friend of mine. He wasn’t aware that I had already listened to the book but encouraged me to try again. I decided this month to relisten to it, as a close friend of mine was in the car with me and we were discussing the lengths people will go to for love. She was excited to enjoy the book so we spent our Sunday adventures listening to chapters of the book in the car together. She was hooked and so was I after ending our Sunday at chapter 7. I continued listening as I spent the whole Monday by myself at the beach, by Tuesday afternoon I had finished all 95 chapters and was completely engulfed in the teachings, the 40 rules of love, Elif Shafak herself and her journey into writing. I will forever recommend this book to anyone looking for a humble read. It is eye opening, rich, written so wisely. It is a book you will finish and hug close to your heart. I lent my copy to a girlfriend to read knowing she will enjoy every word. Romance is only talked about amongst man and woman. The romance and friendship Rumi the famous scholar and Shamz of Tabriz shared in the book, is what true romance is. A constant dance between two as they honour and admire each other, they submit and surrender to the experiences of life and what life has to offer. A beautiful recommendation to those new to love and find interest in the religion of Islam.

The Forty Rules of Love By Elif Shafak

This book was a spontaneous purchase. As most of mine are. I saw this author on a short clip of a podcast he was on with Lewis Howes. He was a guest discussing the illusions of money and how to actually be wealthy. His spiritual outlook of money got me interested. I really resonated with what he was saying in the short clip and decided to dive deeper into his work via youtube. He discusses a lot about your inner security and the feelings you attach to money as well as other external sources. Most of the book isn’t really about money but the way you see yourself and how you attach beliefs to external sources. Coming from someone whose mother grew up in poverty. Money was symbolised as something of a scarcity. My mother could never keep money in her life, she lived pay check to pay check, and as I got older, she would often take from my brother and I. She viewed money as a means to an end. Something to help her family. She gave all she had for her family in the Philipines. I often feel as though it was out of guilt. She was the only one to get out of poverty. She may have felt responsible to do the same for them. She drained my dad, my stepdad and now her new partner of all they had just to keep her family supported back home. I think growing older I realise that she had no knowledge on money. She was so poor, she never went to school. She had to learn how to survive and figure life out along the way. The relationship my brother and I have with my mother has always been tested. It is not a kind one or a gentle compilation of memories. Definitely the kind of relationship that both of us don’t want to repeat onto our children. But growing up, I came to understand her reasonings for all the decisions she decided to make in her life. Her way of thinking. She was only doing her best with the knowledge she had at the time. She was a fighter, a survivor, an outcast, an immigrant parent trying her best for us. This book opens up a wound that seems irrelative. Yet the history behind money and my mother hits close to home. I make it a mission now in my life to build better beliefs around money and how it will be used positively in my future, to ensure safety, security and financial abundance not just for me but for my future children.

The Illusion of Money by Kyle Cease

YOUTUBE/PODCAST VIDEOS

1979 Iranian Revolution, Explained | Last Persian Shah

Carl Jung REVEALS why someone is ALWAYS on your mind

Your Awareness Is Too High To Chase Money - Kyle Cease

The revolutionary power of diverse thought | Elif Shafak

Carl Jung: How Your Shadow Side Can Reveal the Purpose of Your Life (Jungian Philosophy)

ABtalks with Mohamed Hadid

4. Travel Vlog: Toronto to Vegas

Why You Keep Attracting TAKERS! | Kyle Cease

Pretty Privilege? Why It Is So Hard to Be a Beautiful Woman - Teal Swan

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